A Father's Love
Having a father's love is the most nurturing aspect of a human life. This is the precious cornerstone on which we build our lives; without it we become like a building that is on shaky ground. There are many reasons why the love of a father is so important but I have chosen to highlight one at this point and that is safety. This is such a calming word that just the mention of it causes one to breathe more easily. It is like knowing that all the doors and windows in your house are locked so tightly and there is absolutely no way anyone can get inside to cause any harm. It is also a comfort zone in which one can shelter.
A father's love enables us to face life's challenges with a degree of confidence that helps us in difficult times and causes us to see challenges as a way to grow and mature instead of being stressed out. When we start out in life without the real love of a father we move into life as "performers." We tend to do things on the basis of "acting" not "being" and our success then tends to be based on our achievements. There is absolutely nothing wrong with achieving; we must be ambitious, but when our ambition to achieve becomes our main focus, fear of failure is always lurking around the corner.
It is the under grounding love of a father that gives us a sense of personal approval which leads to a sense of safety. This is not rocket science, but it is the type of science that will rocket a person's life to a new level. Let's take a look for a moment at the heavenly Father's love. In 1 John 4:8 we are told that God is love. WOW! Our heavenly Father "is" love. He is all that love "is." This love is so strong that He has placed, in our earthly fathers, the ability to show their children this kind of love. This is so awesome! What an honor. What safety this creates in a home; not the safety of locked doors but the safety of hearts that are connected to one another. If children and wives are given the tender love that they need to feel approved, what a safety net the home is. When we feel approved of, we do not feel as "performers" who are driven to achieve, but our achievements are based on the fact that we have been given a seal of approval.
When fathers experience the love of their heavenly Father, they are in a position to love their family with the kind of love that Jesus spoke about. This love, spoken of by Jesus in St. John 16:27, is the "experiential" type of love. It is not the "agape" love, but the kind of love that one feels. This is what is so desperately needed in homes today. Thank God for the fathers who continue to care for their families in terms of the physical provision, but real safety is not wrapped up only in physical provision; it comes from experiencing Phileo love. Phi/eo, in the Greek, is the affectionate kind of love.
Many earthly fathers have a difficult time showing this kind of love to their wives and children. This is due in part to the fact that many did not receive this tender love from their fathers. But for those who desire to keep their families in the love of God, they will choose this kind of love. Many families are together only because they live in the same house. They are not together in heart and will not be until they are united in the love that binds them together, as Jesus is bound together with His Father and His children.
To become a "safe person" one must have the love of a father; this is the foundation that causes one to
connect intimately with the love of the heavenly Father. For the world to become a safe place, we all need to experience the love of our heavenly Father and our earthly father.
Delta McNeish
CCC Counsellor
The information and suggestions that are provided are not intended to take the place of talking to someone you trust to share your struggles. This could be a friend, family member, or a pastoral worker. Please contact us if you need advice on whether professional Christian Counselling would be helpful.
