Rev. Harry Zekveld

The apostle Peter, speaking to husbands, counselled them to dwell with their wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel Much could be said about this, but what I am most interested in here is the reason Peter gives for offering this counsel to husbands: that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7)

That your prayers may not be hindered... Peter is concerned about the prayers of the husband and the wife. Why? As believers, they are God's children and heirs together of the grace of life. They have been born again into God's family and their lives are now directed toward the glory of God. Worship has become the purpose of their lives as believers, also as believing husband and wife.

For this reason worship has become Peter's main focus as he counsels husbands. He does not want their prayers to be hindered. Sinful attitudes and behavior discourage prayer. A husband who deals harshly or thoughtlessly with his wife is not only cutting himself off from fruitful communication with her; he is also closing off the way to the throne of grace. By stating his concern in the passive voice (that your prayers be not hindered rather than that you not hinder your prayers) Peter implies that God is the one who shuts down the believer's freedom and assurance in prayer.

Peter's concern about worship is not isolated to the husband's treatment of his wife. The same is true for the wife in the way she relates to her husband. Not only today, but also in the early church, wives were tempted to be contentious toward their husbands. They feared the cost of submitting to them. As Peter counselled worried wives he called them to consider the pleasure of God upon their lives. Your proper attitude and behaviour toward your husband is for God, he wrote. Let your beauty be the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very important in the sight of God (I Peter 3:4). Are these words not also about worship? In your relationship with your husband, be sure that you do not clutter your communication with God.

Peter's concern about worship extends to all Christians everywhere. He urges believers for the sake of conscience toward God to live holy lives in an unholy world where evil desires war against their souls (I Peter 2:19-20, 3:15-16, 21). Live in such a way that you may be assured that the Lord's ears are open to your prayers (3:12).

What does this teach us about Christian counselling? Counselling is for worship. The purpose of counselling is to clear the cluttered conscience in order to restore troubled believers to boldness and faithfulness in approaching the throne of grace. Relational troubles generally end up in the pew. The brutal husband has no energy for or interest in heartfelt prayer; sitting beside her husband, the battered wife feels unclean for worship. The wife who is cheating on her husband secretly stuffs the bread of the Lord's Supper into her shoe; the disrespected husband can't wait for the service to be over. The quarreling family hates going to church. The person who is compromising or harsh at work finds worship very tedious and boring. The Christian counsellor recognizes the priority of worship and, whatever the diagnosis, works toward unstopping the prayers of God's people.

Given our tendency to put man or self at the centre of the universe, it is tempting to view counselling solely or primarily in human terms. Whether we view the goal of counselling as relieving a person's sense of guilt of shame, helping someone feel better about himself or herself, bringing better behaviour and more happiness into people's relationships, or helping people function better in a world of disappointments, we easily ignore the primacy of God and put people at the centre of their own lives.

But Scripture rebukes our man-centered view of life. God's word constantly directs our lives - and all our counselling - toward him, specifically, toward the worship of God. Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (I Cor. 10: 31), writes the apostle Paul. In harmony with this teaching Peter was concerned that your prayers not be hindered.